How unfortunate.

I was rolling down the river, trying to learn some English when I stumbled upon a convenience store. I went inside and decided to buy a Mr. Goodbar candy bar. I had gotten throught most of it when someone screamed out "MY SON! NOOOOOOOOO!" I'm not sure how, but I immediately knew when I saw him that this was the true Mr. Goodbar. He gritted his teeth and said "You'll pay for this you murderer!" He then pulled from the frot pocket of his jeans a whole-ass hunting rifle and shot me right in the middle of my sternum. He then proceeded to run into the parking lot, where through the glass door I watched him take a shit on my car. After that, he exploded into, like, a bajillion butterflies. I died in the hospital 2 hours later.