mar 15th.
I don't know who I am anymore. every day I look in the mirror and see a different face each and every time.

may 26th.
my parents can't look at me anymore without sneering in disgust. why was I the one to remain alive while he lays cold in the dirt? I wish to trade places with him those awful nights. some nights I even have the guts to try.

when I hold hands with death, I feel his grip start to come over me. I don't try to fight with the thing I seek out the most. It is only an inevitability that we all turn into the very ground that we walk on. worms and maggots and feed for the suffering below. my parents think that I might be crazy but I don't think I'm crazy nothing is wrong wiht me nothing is wrong with me nothing is wr ong with me nothing is wrong nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothingnothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing not